Feeling lost isn’t a feeling I’m very used to. A lot of the time I have no idea where my life is headed or where I am, and that never bothered me, until now.
Lately I’ve been feeling like I have two homes, college home, where I spend most of my time, and home home, where my family are. I seem to be craving whichever one I’m not at, and when I get there, I realise it wasn’t what I was looking for. It’s almost like I have two homes, but not really a home at all. It’s an awful feeling not knowing where to turn.
Just this week I bumped into an old school friend who informed me she was moving halfway across the world, to London in ten days. I was absolutely stoked for her, but made me question myself. Am I doing what I really want to do? Is uni for me? Where will it take me? Will I get a career? Or even a job? Should I be off chasing a different dream?
This year, also having a leadership role has had a significant impact on my friendships. I had enough trouble trying to balance my friends from home and my uni friends that I live with, but now I’m even struggling to see my uni friends.
I have no idea where my life is headed, and it frightens me, because I don’t think it’s heading in the direction I want it to. I am so lost, and I don’t know what to do about it, I think i’m too scared to do anything about it.